Midlife transitions
When the career, the family, the life you built no longer feels like yours. Work dissatisfaction, life direction, meaning.
Talk about thisContemplative psychotherapy & relationship coaching · San Rafael, CA
When the life you’ve built no longer feels like yours.
I’m Dr. Norman Hering. I’ve spent 44 years practicing Zen and 35 years practicing psychotherapy. I work with people who look like they have it all together — and feel stuck anyway.
When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
Lao Tzu
Before anything else — who I am.
I have a deep understanding of trauma and how it gets in the way of our lives and growth. My own story includes childhood trauma, which has had a profound impact on my life. I use both my personal story and professional experience to inform our work.
PsyD·LMFT, MFC #32062·35 years in practice·44 years of Zen practice·President-elect, Marin County Chapter CAMFT
My approach
How I work
Contemplative practice leads; clinical training supports. The proportions depend on what you need.
A sitting practice, brought into the room
My work is rooted in family systems theory and Buddhist psychology. I have practiced Zen meditation for 44 years — first studying toward monkhood, later as a lay practitioner. When it is useful, we can begin a session with a few minutes of sitting together. Many people find it settles the mind before we talk; for others it holds no interest, and that is fine too.
A clinical foundation underneath
I hold a doctorate in clinical psychology and have trained extensively in cognitive behavioral therapy and Imago relationship therapy. When your situation calls for practical structure — tools for anxiety, patterns that keep repeating — that is where we go. My agenda is your agenda.
What shaped the way I listen
I have worked in a wide range of settings — from residential treatment for children to residential treatment for adults, and everything in between. I also spent a year in Greece volunteering with refugees fleeing war and persecution in the Middle East. Despite their suffering, many of them were some of the kindest and most compassionate people I have ever met. That year changed how I understand resilience, and it is with me in the room.
A line I keep close
If anything is worth doing, do it with all your heart.
Ways of working together
What I work on with people
Couples & relationships
Extensive training in Imago Relationship Therapy, grounded in family systems. For partnerships under strain, or ones worth strengthening.
Talk about thisAnxiety, depression & addiction
A cognitive behavioral foundation, employed with care — practical tools for the patterns that keep returning.
Talk about thisSexuality, gender & LGBTQ+ life
Years of practice in this territory, without the need for you to explain the basics or prove anything.
Talk about thisPractical matters
What a first session looks like
Sessions are 50 minutes, usually weekly, by teletherapy or in-office. The first session is a conversation about what brings you — nothing more. There is no commitment beyond it.
Fees & insurance
- Individual session · 50 minutes
- Ask me about current rates
- Couples session
- Ask me about current rates
- Sliding scale
- A limited number of places — ask me
- Insurance
- Not accepted — this protects your privacy and keeps care uncapped
- Superbill
- Itemized invoice on request, for out-of-network reimbursement
- Good Faith Estimate
- Your right under the No Surprises Act — ask and I’ll provide it
- Cancellations
- 24 hours’ notice; otherwise the session is billed
Bring your fee questions to a conversation
Please check with your insurance company to clarify out-of-network benefits before submitting a superbill.
The next step
Start a conversation
If something here resonates, you’re welcome to write. A sentence or two about what brings you is plenty — as much or as little as you wish.
Thank you — your note is on its way to me.
I read these myself, and I’ll reply personally, usually within a day. Until then, be well. — Norman
Or reach me directly
If the phone is easier, it rings the same room I sit in.
Email and text are not guaranteed to be confidential. If something is sensitive, please call instead.